Travis is off on a week-long adventure with his brother, Brady.  He flew to Spokane, Washington, yesterday where his brother picked him up then they drove to Seattle where they will spend some time sight seeing before heading East again to some small town in the middle of Washington that is well-known for their Oktoberfest which happens to be the second largest beer fest in the nation.  Travis and Brady both love beer and music, so I’m sure they will have lots of fun. After another night in a hotel, they will travel back to Sandpoint, Idaho, where Brady and his family live; Travis will be there three more days before coming home next week.  I’m so excited he was able to go do something fun and new; he needed to get away from reality and hopefully will come home refreshed and renewed.

Travis said: “Enjoying my coffee from the original Starbucks at Pikes Place.”

“This is the docks where the boats from China and other countries from that side of the world unload their products.”

“This is where the farmers market has been since 1907.  They have guys throwing and filleting fresh fish (making a big show of it).”

I told him I was jealous as Seattle is one of the few places I have always wanted to visit but have never made it too and that next time, he is taking me with him.  I’d love to rent a house or condo on the coast too.  Someday….

And finally, the boys.  Trevor knew immediately they were by the space needle and wants to visit it someday.  I hope we can make that happen in the next couple of years.

And for the rest of us, life continues on this week.  All the kids are gone tonight so the house is very quiet with just me and Ryan here.  He is spending most of his time either watching cartoons, eating cheese and Apple Jacks or sitting on his sister’s bed which is one of his very favorite places to be.  So basically I have the house to myself since he doesn’t ever want anything.  After working five out of the last six nights (which were all very rough), I am happy to be home and am already very sleepy.  Brad is at the pumpkin patch with a bunch of his friends, both boys and girls which is a first.  He won’t be home until late, so I will be sleeping with one eye opened until he gets back.  Sidney is at Berean’s all nighter with a friend so she will be very tired in the morning; I’m pretty sure this is her first attempt at staying up all night.  And Trevor is at a friend’s house having a sleepover.  Our weekend pretty much consists of cleaning, which the kids won’t be thrilled about as their to-do lists are longer than usual, church and Brad’s championship football game Sunday afternoon.  He has been so bummed that we refused to let him play but with his sprained MCL, he simply can’t do it. It’s hard for him to remember he has a lot of years ahead of him to play sports.  I have to remind myself that he is just a young teenager and this is probably one of the worst crisis moments he’s had so far which helps me put things in perspective with him.

Ryan is doing well in school and remains happy as usual.  On Thursday we see the neurologist and have his stimulator turned up one more time which will hopefully help decrease the number of seizures we are still seeing.  This will be the last time we can change the stimulator settings and then we are done.  No more medications to try, no more surgeries, no more devices, no more tricks up anyone’s sleeve to stop the seizure monster.  After Thursday I will be able to say we have tried it all and done everything we possibly could to help Ryan; there simply isn’t anything left to do.  To say I am struggling with this is a massive understatement.  He just turned eight.  Last week.  He shouldn’t be at the end of the medical rope already but he is.   And I simply can’t do anything about it.  So I’ll do the only thing I know how to do.  Keep loving Ryan and enjoy every single day I get to be his mom.  Get all the nosey kisses I can. Drink in his sweet smell.  Sit on the couch with him clapping and listening to his adorable giggle laugh.  And who knows what is next, what’s around the next bend and hill of this journey.  Heck, no one knows what tomorrow holds.  We aren’t even promised tomorrow. I’m doing what I do best – grasp onto my faith and never let go.  As white knuckled as I feel sometimes dealing with all the medical issues we’ve been handed with my sweet baby, I simply can’t let go of one thing I know to be true.  That God is good all the time (although it doesn’t always feel like it) and knows what I need every second of every day.  He is the one who told me “he is as I intended him to be”.  So who am I to doubt the God of the universe when he so clearly stated he knows what he is doing.  I just can’t.  My faith is too strong.  So for now I’ll make the best of the hard times cause I’ve sure got those down pat.  And I’ll make sure no blessing or giggle or nosey kiss or chance to sit and clap together goes unnoticed or missed.

So as my Seattle man enjoys new sights, new sounds, new tastes and new memories with his brother, I am going to enjoy these days with my kids and keep working on making every single day count.  I want to be able to stand before God some day, too, and hear him tell me “you were exactly as I intended you to be”.  What a challenge.  I hope I make Him proud.