waiting for answers

Last night I was so frustrated!  The two GI residents that came in earlier in the day said different things too. One said Ryan has an ileus as we’ve been suspecting and that we’ll just see how things go, but there is a chance this could take months to heal and Ryan could possibly end up going home on IV nutrition.  Then the other came in and said he might just have some swelling in the intestines and maybe we should try to feed him today.  Then when the night nurse came in, she said she got in report that Ryan has enteritis (swelling of the intestines) but no ileus.  I was nearly in tears because no one seems to be able to agree on what the problem is.  I realize there isn’t a quick fix but for Pete’s sake, at least try to figure this out instead of just sitting around doing nothing but giving him IV fluids.  Those are important because he isn’t digesting so of course the fluids keep him from getting dehydrated.  And the IV seizure meds and Ativan are keeping him from going into withdrawal from the other seizure meds he isn’t getting through his g-tube.  The nurse was so sweet and talked to the charge nurse letting her know we feel like we are getting no where and the hospitalist happened to be up here at the time.  I talked to all three of them and they understand that we’ve been through three hospitalizations in two weeks with brain surgery too and that we are weary and need answers.  I’m not OK just sitting around doing nothing because it’s the weekend.  I told them I am an ER nurse and know things don’t shut down on the weekends so I expect them to do something if they think there are other tests we need to do.  In the end, the hospitalist said it looks like we are facing an ileus vs gastroparesis.  So basically they aren’t sure if it’s his stomach that isn’t emptying or if it’s his intestines that aren’t moving.  Either way, we are stuck with a digestive system that is not working.  Then one of the hospital residents came in this morning and said we might try feeding him at noon to see if anything is absorbing after two days of bowel rest.  It seems no one has any idea around here, but on a good note, the nurses are absolutely wonderful.  I don’t work in a teaching hospital so my patience dealing with all these residents and not just one doctor from each specialty drives me nuts because everyone says something different.  Those of you who know me understand that I am very much a person who wants to get to the point, figure it out, fix it and move on.  I don’t do well with wishy washy thinking.  Make a plan and do it. And of course after everything Ryan has been through these past couple of weeks – that we’ve all been through – I just want him healthy and home with the other kids.  It’s so hard to be away from the older three and they miss us terribly.  This is just awful for them emotionally and mentally.  Trevor is getting headaches and he isn’t recovering from his walking pneumonia as fast as he should and I know it’s stress.  The other two are stressed; it’s so obvious.  This isn’t fair for them to have to continually face all this medical stuff with their brother.  I would give both arms and legs to take the pain away from them. I know everyone keeps saying God is using this in their lives, they will be so much better off as compassionate adults because of the circumstances they face now.  Well ya, I believe that too, but it doesn’t relieve the tension and stress they feel today.  It simply breaks my heart.  I love all my kids so much and want them to just be kids.  So, we’ll see what today brings when all the doctors make it in.  I will update this afternoon when we know more but until then, we are going to enjoy our time with the older three kids when my dad and step mom bring them up around noon.  Thanks for your prayers, emails, texts, calls.  We love you all so much and your support is immeasurable!

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5 thoughts on “waiting for answers

  1. Kim, my heart breaks for the stress and pain you and your family are feeling. Your kids are beautiful and tough! Don’t forget you are a family and a tight family which is why Ryan is as happy as he is. No, it’s not fair, but as you say in your blog, “This is our journey” that’s what it is and unfortunately you have no control over the destination. However, I believe God has been watching over Ryan as well as the other children. I will pray that there will be a turn around soon for Ryan. I’m still dealing with a nagging cold so It is not wise for me to visit but I am thinking of him always. If you need any kind of assistance with the children please let me know via e-mail and I would be happy to help out. Best wishes to Travis and his ailing leg.
    Sharon

  2. Kim,
    I ran over to the office from the church service for “just a minute.” Now I know at least one reason: So I can pray for you! I used to listen to Elizabeth Eliot on the radio. One of the things she repeatedly says is that when you don’t know what to do, “just do the next thing.” Right now Ryan and his care is your “next thing.” PLEASE let me know if your kids in Lincoln need a “next thing” that I can do for them. I live just right around the corner from Peeples, so I think I’m pretty handy to your house.
    Julie Florom

  3. Kim, Travis, Brad, Trevor, Sidney,
    My heart is heavy for all of you. I know they miss and worry about the ones in Omaha as the ones in Omaha worries and misses them in Lincoln.
    I know you guys as a family has taught me so much, I very much believe in our Lord and depend on him everyday, the faith that your family shows every day has made my faith even stronger.
    I do believe God knew it would take a strong faith and a wonderful family to take care of that beautiful boy ( Ryan) and he chose your family.
    Again let me know if I can do anything, even go watch one of the other kids at a sport event to give them support.
    Love you all very much. Candy

  4. Hello Kim and Travis,

    We are so sorry about all the stress you are dealing with right now! We are praying for Ryan and all of you on a daily basis. Know that God is holding you with His victorious right hand. “Yes, be bold and strong! Banish fear and doubt! For remember, the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

    To God be all the Glory,

  5. Hey Mom, Dad, and Ry!!!!!!!!!
    I miss you guys so much and I was so excited to see you guys today!!! It made me so happy to get my nosie and a hug from my baby!!!! Thanks for all you guys do for us!! You guys go through so much and don’t deserve it! I love you guys with all my heart and can’t wait for you guys to come home. I can’t tell you guys how much you mean to me. Love ya so much!!!

    Love
    Sidney

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