The new tube is in and there were no problems during surgery. My sweet friend Candy was with me all day and just left. I was glad not to be alone today and needed the shoulder to cry on. This sucks. How’s that for some very blunt honesty? I just want answers. I want to know if his intestines are going to digest. I want to know if his stomach is ever going to work again. I want answers right now. Today. I want to know if Ryan will ever get to enjoy another Cheerio or piece of cheese or chicken strip or cold drink of water. I want to know if this is permanent nerve damage or if it’s temporary. I want to meet this nasty monster in the closet that is slowly taking my son from me. I want to know why my dear husband had to lose his job in the midst of all this. I want to know why God couldn’t have waited a month or two before he took the job away. I want answers that, for some reason I don’t understand, I’m not going to get today. And I want to be home. With all six of us cuddled on the couch together. So I guess if I can’t have the answers I want, I will choose to be content resting in the arms of my heavenly father who is holding me together. But I still think this sucks. And I still want those answers.