wanting answers

 

The new tube is in and there were no problems during surgery. My sweet friend Candy was with me all day and just left. I was glad not to be alone today and needed the shoulder to cry on. This sucks. How’s that for some very blunt honesty? I just want answers. I want to know if his intestines are going to digest. I want to know if his stomach is ever going to work again. I want answers right now. Today. I want to know if Ryan will ever get to enjoy another Cheerio or piece of cheese or chicken strip or cold drink of water. I want to know if this is permanent nerve damage or if it’s temporary. I want to meet this nasty monster in the closet that is slowly taking my son from me. I want to know why my dear husband had to lose his job in the midst of all this. I want to know why God couldn’t have waited a month or two before he took the job away. I want answers that, for some reason I don’t understand, I’m not going to get today. And I want to be home. With all six of us cuddled on the couch together. So I guess if I can’t have the answers I want, I will choose to be content resting in the arms of my heavenly father who is holding me together. But I still think this sucks. And I still want those answers. 

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3 thoughts on “wanting answers

  1. Just like David in the Psalms, you always come back to trusting God, even though the trials continue. You’re amazing! Keep at it friend, know that many are holding you up by taking you to the Thone of Grace, and only HE can weather and handle the kind and the enormity of your trials right now.

  2. Hang in there Kim,

    Ryan’s little angel of love is with him! That sweet little boy on the outside is one tough kid on the inside! JUST LIKE HIS MOM……..
    Sharon

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