twelve years

Twelve years.  The same amount of time my daughter has been alive.  Twelve whole years and she is gone.  The pain has eased with time but the hole in my heart doesn’t get smaller as the days and years pass.  The cliche that no one can take the place of your mom is really quite true.  Because no one will ever fill the corner of my heart that is my mom’s.  I just pray to God I get more years with my children than I had with my mom.  I was newly married when she was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis then pregnant with Brad when my sisters and I had to put her in a nursing home.  When she died I was 27 yrs old and had two littles ones ages 2 and 8 months.  God took her before I was ready for her to go but I realize she did what God called her to do here and now she is dancing and free from the disease that ravaged her body.  And I miss her.  But the legacy she left is one that my heart will hold on to until I get to see her again. 

On Memorial Day we went to her grave, which I don’t like to do because she isn’t there, and put flowers there for her.  She always loved pink flowers.  So mom, on this day that most people label as the day you died, I know it’s really the day  you lived.  The day you ran into Jesus’s arms and got to hear him say “well done my good and faithful servant”.  It’s the day my sisters and I shed so many tears of sorrow but it’s the same day you shed tears of joy as your body was made whole again and you were able to walk and run through heaven’s beauty.  And some day, I will see you again, mommy.  I love you!

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4 thoughts on “twelve years

  1. Oh Sweet Kim,
    Once again your sweet faith and trust in our
    Father touches my heart as tears well in my eyes. I
    love you.

  2. We never know how long we’ll have our parents, do we? My mom and I weren’t real close, but I loved her, and she too died too young. . 54 from breast cancer. My 2 kids were 7 & 9. How many times have I wished Mom were here, so that I could share my life with her, and she could have known my kids and grandkids.

  3. It was when my husband Mom died in the 80’s that it hit me that there is no more parents for us. My Mom I didn’t get to see the last 7 years she lived. She had turned JW in the upper 50’s and so did my 2 sisters and youngest brother and they kind of divorce us out of their lives and I grief my Mom lost while she was still alive in the 60’s. She was a great Mom growing up with us kids, but she so change after she left the church and joined the JW. My Spiritual sister became my sisters and older ladies my Mom. My Dad, older brother and I didn’t join them. Praise the Lord.
    I am glad you had a good time with your Mom while she lived down here and you are right she is full of joy and happiness in heaven.
    Love,
    Delores

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