Autumn is here, and we have spent lots of time at football and volleyball games. It’s fun to see how the kids progress from one year to the next. The older three are doing well. It’s hard to believe in six days we will have two birthdays to celebrate – Sidney, 14 and Ryan, 10. And in two months Brad will be 16 and driving! And only three short months later, we will officially have three teenagers; this age is such a blast – really! Ryan has been having a tough time these past couple of months and can’t seem to pull out of it. I’m certain in the deepest part of my heart that it’s our new normal as hard as it is to accept. He slumps over all the time now and never sits up tall and square like he has for years. His legs are getting weaker and his ankle braces are now causing sores on his lower legs because they are not tall or strong enough to support his weakening muscles (we will see a pediatric ortho doc in a week). He is quieter and drools more plus he lays around and sleeps more too. Don’t get me wrong…he still smiles and squeals, that just doesn’t happen as often as it used to. I would be lying if I said it’s been an easy adjustment. I fight the tears often and realize that while we can’t go back, I am grieving the boy he used to be – the energy, the mischievousness, the squeals and laughter. It’s still there but in very small doses. These past nine days have been rough as well because he has been sick with on and off again fevers, gagging, throwing up, decreased appetite, smelly breath, runny nose and loose stools. Travis had his abdomen x-rayed while I was in DC (we had a great time) and thankfully that was negative but he just can’t seem to get over this one which is the norm now – he fights a simple illness for 2-3 times longer than the average person. His poor little body is just tired. I did take him to the pediatrician yesterday to check his ears, and he was put on an antibiotic because his throat was so junky and he has a lot of drainage which is obviously leading to the bad breath. Hopefully he will be felling a little better tomorrow and able to go back to school.
I am still searching for a job which is OK; God has provided in amazing ways and I know He is going to reveal the right job in His perfect timing but I can’t say I’m very patient in the wait. I am doing flu clinics for a company I applied for and am enjoying the opportunity. After being off the night shift for a month now, I can say I feel human again. I can’t believe how much more alert, engaged, positive and content I feel. I don’t miss my old job in the ER one bit and wouldn’t go back to that environment if I had to; I don’t want to be that old Kim again. I’m actually really excited to start fresh and am praying very specifically about one job I interviewed for that I really want. I know God has a perfect plan and I try very hard not to get ahead of myself and wish too much for what I think is the right job. Otherwise things are as they should be which means life revolves around the kids’ schedules, and Travis and I cherish the time we get alone. God has been gracious to provide everything we need and even in the midst of waiting on Him for my job situation, grieving the new normal with Ryan, cherishing every day with busy kids…my heart is full.
I would like to ask for prayers for a very precious family. Jason and his wife Kara have four children, they live in Colorado where Jason pastors a church and Kara is fighting cancer. She’s already gone through the whole regimen of surgeries, radiation and chemo for breast cancer, but in the past two weeks or so when she went for what was supposed to be a routine follow-up, she was told the cancer may have spread. Just yesterday she had another surgery to remove her reproductive system, and it was confirmed that the breast cancer has spread to that area and I believe also to her lungs. Please pray for this wonderful family. Kara has an amazing blog I encourage you all to follow as she is a very creative and touching writer. Jason’s mom went to high school with my mom, his older sister is one of my older sister’s dearest friends, Jason, Travis and I went to jr high and high school together, Jason was the best man in our wedding, Travis was a groomsman in Jason’s wedding, and our families remain in contact after all these years. Here is a link to their blog:
Thank you for your continued support and prayers for our family. We have been so very blessed by a community of believers, family and friends over the years whom we cherish in ways our words can not describe but in which our hearts remain blessed. You are all so very loved. Blessings to each of you!