I love this photo because it’s exactly how I feel right now. I did not get the job I was hoping for but that simply means God has something better in store. I am still doing lots of flu clinics and am enjoying those very much; and why wouldn’t I since I am very social and love to talk to people. Patience is not a virtue I was abundantly blessed with, but I’m learning as I grow that God works in HIS time, not mine; and His timing is always, always best. I am not sure what direction the Lord is moving me in and my sweet dad reminded me of that this morning with the following email.
I honestly think you are shorting yourself and everyone else…perhaps even the Lord…if you don’t look beyond what you are presently considering. It is like the Lord we serve to put a vision you will think about or consider only to alter it into something you would never consider. Maybe it is Ellisbrook, maybe writing or speaking, maybe both, maybe just being Kim.
I only know that this is a time of growth and waiting expectantly on the Lord. It is amazing the peace I feel in the midst of an unknown work situation. And maybe my dad is right; maybe I’m not suppose to stay in nursing. Maybe I’m going to move on to something else. Maybe He is calling me into ministry or working with special needs or something else I can’t even imagine. I have no idea. But as He has told me over and over again in the past month or two from Psalm 27 – wait for the Lord, be strong and take heart, and wait for the Lord.
God has blessed us with peace, with a strong marriage in the midst of financial instability, with laughter and health and joy. And I’m finding that as I walk along the path set before me, I’m able to enjoy the beauty. It’s focusing on the beautiful, bright flower growing in the midst of the weeds, being able to see the little speck of sunshine pushing its way through the dreary clouds. If I only set my eyes on all that is ugly or wrong or dreary, I miss the beauty that is right before me. Life is all about perspective and attitude. Either we choose to focus on all that is going well, all that brings joy, or we get lost in the muck, in the stress, in the fear and the hopelessness. It’s a choice. And while I have no idea what tomorrow holds for me, today I am going to make the choice to be free from worry about jobs and money and health insurance. I’m going to focus on the One who holds me closer than I feel, who delights in me beyond what I can understand, who loves me fiercely and desires to bless my socks off. Because at the end of the day, He is God and I am not. I can not change my circumstances, those things that are out of my control, but I can trust them to a very known God who doesn’t need my resources or my opinions and my ideas to have His way in me. He can and will bring to fruition what He desires for me. My job is to see beauty in the muck and the wait, to trust in the midst of worry, to praise Him in the midst of impatience.
“Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy.” James 1:2 (NLT)
One thought on “beauty in the muck”
Kim… you really have the right perspective on this situation – I know, since I’ve been there before more than once… (as you know). This is summed up in that adage (that I like and you know this one) … life is 10% of what you make it and 90% of how you take it. And the Lord is the one who is in there to help us take it. Like your dad said, we never know where God is leading us but we end up where he wants us if we just let him lead us… and it ain’t easy since we want to really show Him what we want. But then, He does at times give us the desires of our heart, but not always following the method we expect (or are trying to guide Him in). Mom and I continue to pray for you daily. Thank you for being such a good wife to our son and a wonderful mother to our grandchildren. We love you… Dad