Sometimes I like to look back at Ryan’s caringbridge blog to see what was going on in years past.  I am so thankful I’ve kept a blog going for the past six years because it’s amazing what I’ve forgotten!  I read some of the posts and think “wow, did we really go through that?”  Sometimes I am truly amazed at how far Ryan has come, how much easier he is today than he was just a couple years ago.  I vividly remember how much he used to bang his head, slam it really, into walls (he put his head all the way through the dry wall five times in various places around the house); the massive tantrums sometimes in the middle of the night and we would take turns sitting with him praying the other kids wouldn’t wake; having to put him in the van in the garage or take him on a drive so one of us could vacuum, run the blender, turn on my hairdryer; all the times we had to leave the store because there was too much noise; sitting in the car for an hour while the rest of the family sat in a restaurant eating because Ryan couldn’t handle it and one of us had to leave with him.  Ryan has overcome so many obstacles that really don’t bother him anymore and I am absolutely amazed and grateful for how far he has come.  It’s a real testimony that with hard work, determination and never giving up, anyone can change.  We are different people today than we were in years past and even though we still face some very difficult situations, I am so grateful for all we have come through.  I can’t say life has gotten easier but we’ve learned how to face every bump in the road with sheer will and determination knowing that what doesn’t kill us truly does make us stronger.  And best of all, we have three beautiful kids who have found a compassion and acceptance of others that never would have been possible without the struggles their baby brother has gone through – that we all have gone through.

Two years ago I made the following post and it was a reminder I really needed today.  It’s worth sharing again.

Sunday, August 23, 2009 8:45 PM, CDT

“My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,” declares the LORD. ~ Isaiah 55:8

I Will Move the Rock
by Cindy Lu

A man was sleeping at night in his cabin when suddenly his room filled with light and the Savior appeared. The Lord told the man he had work for him to do and showed him a large rock in front of his cabin. The Lord explained that the man was to push against the rock with all his might.

This the man did, day after day. For many years he toiled from sun up to sun down, his shoulders set squarely against the cold, massive surface of the unmoving rock, pushing with all his might. Each night the man returned to his cabin sore and worn out, feeling that his whole day had been spent in vain.

Seeing that the man was showing signs of discouragement, Satan decided to enter the picture by placing thoughts into the man’s mind such as: “You have been pushing against that rock for a long time, and it hasn’t budged. Why kill yourself over this? You are never going to move it.”

Thus giving the man the impression that the task was impossible and that he was a failure, these thoughts discouraged and disheartened the man even more. “Why kill myself over this?” he thought. “I’ll just put in my time, giving just the minimum effort, and that will be good enough.”

And that he planned to do until one day he decided to make it a matter of prayer and take his troubled thoughts to the Lord. “Lord,” he said, “I have labored long and hard in your service, putting all my strength to do that which you have asked. Yet, after all this time, I have not even budged that rock by half a millimeter. What is wrong? Why am I failing?”

To this the Lord responded compassionately, “My friend, when I asked you to serve me and you accepted, I told you that your task was to push against the rock with all your strength, which you have done. Never once did I mention to you that I expected you to move it. Your task was to push. And now you come to me, with your strength spent, thinking that you have failed. But, is that really so? Look at yourself. Your arms are strong and muscled, your back sinewed and brown, your hands are callused from constant pressure, and your legs have become massive and hard. Through opposition you have grown much and your abilities now surpass that which you used to have. Yet you haven’t moved the rock. But your calling was to be obedient and to push and to exercise your faith and trust in My wisdom. This you have done.

“I, my friend, will now move the rock.”

At times when we hear a word from God, we tend to use our own intellect to decipher what he wants, when actually what God wants is just simple obedience and faith in him…

By all means, exercise the faith that moves mountains, but it is still God who moves the mountains.