giving thanks

Happy Thanksgiving to all my sweet friends and loved ones!  My heart is blessed, my house will soon be full, my tummy will be satisfied and my mind is at peace.  Today is a good day because God is gracious.  As I set up tables, cleaned bathrooms, prepared food and fed donuts to the kids, my mind has gone to a place of relishing the grace of God.  I am the first to admit these past few weeks have been difficult.  My heart has been torn between joy in the every day events of life – watching my kids succeed, grow and be silly, time with my husband, enjoying my extended family, chats with dear friends, thankfulness for a job I love, having a warm home to rest and relax in – and stress watching the struggles of my baby as he fights infection and a slowing body.  There are no words to describe the ache and sorrow that dance in my heart.  There are no actions to remove the incredible weakness in his body.  There are no promises of things getting easier for my little boy.  But this morning, this beautiful sun-filled morning, I was blessed with the gentle reminder of God’s amazing grace.  Grace when I have screwed up again with a harsh word much too quickly spoken, grace when my mind wants to speak ugly to mask the sorrow invading my soul, grace when I treat those I love with too much ugliness and not enough kindness.  It’s in my own weakness and self condemnation that I remember grace.  And on this day of thankfulness, I am especially grateful for the grace of God to grant forgiveness to a pitiful life not deserving of the love I receive.  Today I get to love on my family. I get to serve them with food and a comfortable, welcoming home.  I get to enjoy laughter and sharing.  I get to be filled with goodness and gentle reminders that in my own imperfection and much-too-hard-on-myself spirit, I am still loved, still appreciated, still wanted and still cherished.  I am so undeserving of the grace offered to me by those whom I love, but more importantly, I am so completely undeserving of the grace offered to me at the cross.  Because without that cross, without that terrible death and beautiful resurrection, I would not have the hope of eternity.  I would not have the peace of knowing in Ryan’s struggles, in the all of our struggles really, God’s perfect plan is in place.  How quickly I forget about eternity.   So today, in the eating and fun, in the laughter and playfulness, my heart is so full.  So very full of humility all because of a Father who loves
me enough to send His Son to save me.  Oh the retched soul I am; He came just for me.  Undeserving me.  And He came for you.  Be blessed my sweet, cherished friends.  May you, too, relish the grace each of us does not deserve.  And may we all extend that grace to each other.  We all walk a hard road.  But today, let’s focus on the good.  Let’s allow thanksgiving to flow out of our hearts and into those who surround us.

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